House Rules and Home Chores - Part II

TIME TABLE and HOUSEHOLD CHORES for TROY & TRACY

MONDAY-FRIDAY:       7am - 5pm è SCHOOL

6pm - 8pm è DANCE STUDIO

9pm- 10pm è dinner and assignments

SATURDAY:                 1pm – 4pm  è DANCE STUDIO

SUNDAY:                     FAMILY TIME

            

TRACY

·         wash the dishes  on Saturdays

·         Clean and wipe the windows

·         Sweep the floors 

·    

     TROY

·         Wash the dishes on Sundays

·         Mop the floor

·         Clean the toilet

For those who have just come across my blog, I have two children who are athletes and their sport is competitive ballroom or dancesport.   They dance as partners and it so happened that they are growing teenagers also.  Oh how they love to explore and try new things.  But it is when their mood swings kicks in that I hate dealing with. 

They have been dancing for almost seven years now.  So, their life mostly revolves around school, dance trainings, shows and competitions.  I can call myself a stage parent since I get to be a manager and a time keeper with their schedules among other things. 

At a young age, they have fully developed their confidence and intrapersonal skills.  As a parent, I don’t want them to limit their skills just outside the house.  Rather, it is my goal to make them well rounded individuals and what better way to practice this by starting at home and the first step is to learn how to do the household chores.

It’s nice when you see your children growing but it’s when they start to demand for independence - that makes it more challenging as a parent.  My teenage kids aren’t really asking to be kicked out of the house.  Not yet anyway and while that time hasn’t come yet, I’d like to maintain that relationship we have of being open with each other.  For now, I still relish the moments of them relaying to me the exciting details of their day at school or how excruciating it was at dance practice today.  At that moment I became their friend who listens and slowly I change as their mother who asks them to throw the garbage outside or run an errand to the store.  I don’t want to be labeled as a strict disciplinarian or a nagging mom.  That’s why there are rules at home that are to be followed.  Over time, they will understand its importance and that it will make them better individuals. J

House Rules at Our Home

As parents, we raise our kids from infants and over the years teach them right from wrong.  As they grow older and becomes more involved with activities and peers outside the home, that’s when it’s best to set family rules and explain each of its importance to them.

 

HOUSE RULES

1.       Fix your bed when waking up.

2.       Do your homework or assignment before going to sleep

3.       No access to the laptop during school days unless if it’s for important reasons like projects, research or assignments. 

4.       Inform us ahead of time (and not on the spot or the same day you that you need it) for important things you need like:

ð  School fees or payments

ð  Projects/research

ð  Materials for dancesport

5.       Bring your bags directly to your room when you arrive.  Don’t just leave it on the doorway.

6.       Put your dirty/used clothes in the laundry basket and not scattered anywhere in the house.  If it’s still wet hang it outside to dry before putting in the laundry basket.

7.       Be mindful of your things so that you’ll know where to look for it.

8.       Use your personal towel, and hang it on the veranda after use.  If it’s raining, hang it in the room using a hanger.

9.       Put back your shoes in the shoe rack after use.  Not unless if it’s very dirty or smells.

10.    Turn off the lights if not in use.

11.    Switch off/plug off electronic supply and wires such as TV, cable, DVD, A/C, stand fan, iron, laptop and charger if not in use.

12.    Return things in their proper places after using.

13.    Call when you can’t come home on time or for any unforeseen events. We need to know where you are to keep us from worrying.

14.    Respect each and every member of the house.  Even the youngest one deserves it.

15.    Always remember to pray before and after going to bed.

Hubs and I called our children first for a meeting and consulted with them the contents of the house rules before we finalized everything.  We wanted them to know that we also respect their thoughts and ideas.  In that way, it could even more strengthen our line of communication with them.

Family rules make it easier for the children to align their behavior with parents’ expectations.  There are long term benefits too.  The relational skills that the kids learn at home – respecting each other’s feelings and their property – will make it easier for them to form healthy relationships with friends, schoolmates, coworkers, their spouses, and associates in the future.

Getting Kids To Wake Up In the Morning For School

After  three weeks of Christmas vacation, it’s back to school again for my two teenage kids which also means giving way to packed schedules, homework, after-school activities and toughest of all – waking them up early.  And that is not one easy problem in our household.  I looked around in the net for some easy but effective solutions that wouldn’t necessarily instruct me to pour cold water on them (which I’m nearly about to at some point).  Fortunately, I found these helpful tips that could help me and you to get our kids out of bed without creating household chaos early in the morning.

1.     Set a schedule. It is important that your child has a schedule for going to bed that is consistent. This means it should be the same on the weekends as it is during the school week. Doing so helps your child’s body regulate its internal clock. This makes them more likely to be able to naturally get up at the same time each day.

2.     Have the same morning routine. Just as it is important that your child has a consistent schedule for going to bed and getting up, you should also follow the same morning routing. Creating a routine that is the same each day helps to automate the process, which allows your child to automatically know what to do and what comes next.

3.     Get organized the night before. Taking the time in the evening before your child goes to bed to get fully organized can be another way to make the morning go smoother. Setting out your child’s clothes, packing what they need in their backpack and doing other things can cut down on the time it takes to get out the door in the morning.

4.     Give them incentives. One of the reasons children often don’t want to get out of bed on a school day is because they don’t want to go to school. You can give them incentives to get out of bed and distract them from the thought of having to go to school. For example, you can tell them they get to choose what they wear if they get out of bed in the next two minutes, whereas if they fail, you then get to choose. These incentives often provide enough motivation to get them moving.

5.     Hug, kiss and tickle them. If children are still sleepy after you wake them up, you may need to get their heart pumping and blood flowing. This can be done by hugging them or tickling them, since this often wakes them up in a hurry. You can even crank up the radio and encourage them to dance. Once they are moving, it is much easier to get them focused on getting ready for school. :-)

How Do You Handle Sibling Rivalry?

Zef and ZJ

Do you have more than one child? Then, most likely you are also experiencing sibling rivalry amongst your children.  I have four so there’s definitely lots of squabbles at home.   My dancesport pair, who are aged 15 and 13, fight more or often when they do their dance trainings.  It’s something that I can’t handle personally since it’s their dance teachers who take all their banterings.  Thank God for them! (sighing with a smile) When they’re at home, they don’t argue about anything except who’s going to do which of the household chores that’s being tasked for them.  That I can handle.  But when it comes to my two younger ones, who are aged 3 and 1 years old, who are both boys..ah! it’s WW3 all the time at home when it happens.

 

Siblings fight.  Even adults do, right?  Just like them, children also go through a myriad of feelings and emotions.  The flip side is that children don’t know how to express their feelings and sometimes manifest into sibling fights and rivalry.  Zef and ZJ has lots of toys to play with but oftentimes, they fight on one toy.   They still don’t know the meaning of the word “share” so it’s really frustrating.

So what causes it?  It is commonly triggered by jealousy and competition.  Some contributing factors can be boredom, hunger and exhaustion.   But if there’s a routine that the child follows carefully, like his sleeping habits, play time and eating time, then it’s likely that these triggers are lessened.

Fighting for attention is a common trigger.  When a child feels that he is receiving unequal amount of attention, he will do anything to get it back.  My 3 years old ZJ, makes annoying noises when he sees that his little brother, Zef, is being carried and passed around be everyone saying how cute the baby is.  This would sometimes irk me or his dad often causing to reprimand him verbally but the more he cries to this action.  What I’ve learned to do is give him a hug and get his books, which are his favorite things to do-reading, then he calms down.

There are many ways and effective ones to resolve sibling rivalry.  However, different situations require different tactics.  I have jotted down a few which helps the same way.

Getting to the root cause of the problem

Kids crave affection.  Most kids want to prove their individuality and that they are different from their sibling.  So a recognition and appreciation is a big thing for them.  A child may either be bored or tired, that’s why he’s starting a fight with his sibling.  The faster you get to the root of the problem, the easier it will be to tackle the issue.

Freedom to handle conflicts

Oftentimes, we parents try and mediate conflicts which could result to (unintentionally)protecting one child.  Give your children independence and responsibility to resolve their own conflicts.   Giving them freedom to handle their conflicts would help to find the solution but of course, we should also know when to step in if 

they start hurting each other.

Use time-outs

This is when the fight is going out of control.  Or, it is when I use a little spanking to make them see who is in control.  I am not the strict-disciplinarian type but I still believe that a child sometimes needs it.  Once the child cools down, you can carefully explain what he did wrong and apologize to the sibling.

Avoid Comparisons

I cannot stress how important this is.  It is never healthy to compare your child to another specially to a sibling.  They have their own individual identities and it’s only our role as parents to encourage our children their expression of self.

Set an example

It is at home where all starts.  When they see parents fighting, they may think that it’s the best resolution to conflicts.  Let’s be role models to our children.  They are always watching our every move and the next step we make.  They will not miss an opportunity to step in our shoes and behave just like us.  Let us nurture a loving and cordial atmosphere at our homes and this will build a special bond between us and our children.

It's Never Too Early to Teach A Child How To Pray

"Now, I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
 If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take."

This was the first prayer that was taught to me as a child by my parents.  My dad, who is a Catholic Charismatic preacher has taught us more than one ways on how to build a close relationship with God and this can be done through the medium of praying.  At home, I try my best to gather everybody around to pray and recite the rosary for our family prayer but if schedules are tight, then it leaves only me and the the small ones.

I find it fun and an exciting experience to teach them (my children) how to pray when they're still young.  Actually, I don't really call it "teaching" because I don't like them to think that there's supposed to be a process when praying.  What usually happens is that, like what I do now with Zef and ZJ, when I pray I tell them to sit beside me.  So what follows is that they imitate what I do and say.  Let me share how it came for ZJ to pray with me always.  It started with this simple conversation:

ZJ: "Mom, (what) are you doing?"
ME: "I'm talking to God."
ZJ: "Ah, ok.  I will talk to God also. God, please hold my hand."

And it touched my heart.  That's a prayer that's so pure and straight from the heart.  It came from an innocent child who only knows that Jesus can't be seen but who you can talk to anytime and anywhere.

Just like what my father taught me, prayer shouldn't always be monotonous.  Yes, there are correct prayer methods but forget about this.  Urge your children to start talking to God just like talking to a friend.  Don't mind if your child would include the song of the ABC in his prayer.  That's fine.  As long as he's comfortable in his ways of communicating with God then that's what matters.

Children have strong faith and they trust easily.  This is one characteristic that we parents can learn a lot from them.  As children are transparent in expressing their thoughts in a prayer, this tells us to talk to God also in a way without a hint of doubt.  Our fight of faith may be a little more complicated than those of our children but we can make it with God' help.

Ibong Adarna and My Lady

As independent as my daughter is, seldom does she ask for my help with her school works and assignments.  

Even when she was campaigning for a Mayoral position in her classroom never had she asked me to make 

her a pitch or create campaign tools such as banners or leaflets.  

I remembered that it was my dad who made my speech when I ran for the Student Body treasurer.  

But that’s me, a daddy’s girl. 

Last week, she surprised me when she asked that I draw Ibong Adarna in her assignment in Filipino 

Literature.  I readily jumped to the given task since I enjoy drawing and coloring so much.  

But it was the thought that she asked for my help that got me excited and made me feel that I am still part of 

her life and that she still needs me.  

She’s becoming a young lady and soon, just like the ibong adarna, she'll flap her beautiful wings and fly to 

her own freedom.  But to me, she will always be that upturned nose and curly haired little girl who 

greeted me with a tiny cry when she came out in this world.  

She is my only princess and my mini me who'll always take my breath away :-)

Stage Mommy-ing: My DanceSport Kids At an Event

Last week, my two dancesporters were invited at an Oath Taking Ceremony to dance as guests.   Since it was on a school week, stage mom as I am, I had to meet them up after school with all their costumes and make ups at hand.  And since no one can look after my little ones so I had to bring them along also.  It was really a chaotic but fun night for all of us.

 

That's me in red with my sister, Mitch, carrying my baby.  I'm sorry if the picture's blurry but I purposely chose this because I look so disheveled with my curly tendrils sticking out my pony.  

Most of the time, we design their costumes.  Tracy's blue green sequined dress is her own choice.  I came from a family who's very conservative but since my kids are in a sport that requires a bit daring clothes for their costumes, I have to support them all the way.  But I don't condone with those costumes that almost bares their souls. No way!

After the event, the kids still had the energy to play and goof around.  By looking at this, I thought I've done a pretty good job in rearing my children.  Even with their age differences, Troy and Tracy as teens still plays with their younger siblings, ZJ and Zef. 

The event turned out fine and the crowd applauded for them.   As a mom, it always fill my heart with pride and joy to accolades that my children receive.  They couldn't imagine that the performers who just danced for them were only aged 13 and 14 because they seem so professional already.   Thanks to their arduous work and training.  At the end of the day, they're still my babies.  I let them explore their youth and encourage them to enjoy their age, to go out and play.  Their passion to dance is here to stay and I'm always here, stage mom or not, to support them every step of the way.

My son is 2 and he won't eat

My ZJ is in his "terrible 2" stage.  I can even say that my attention's more towards him than my 11 months old baby, Zef.  I have just realized that I have blogged about ZJ for a few times now but none to Zef yet.  Am I being unfair or having favoritisms maybe? Ah no! I don't think so because my next post is about my baby boy and all the preparations or ideas i'm mustering for his 1st year birthday next month! Well, enough of that for now and let's get back to my "problem child".

I have four children but still I always ask help from the expert, my mom, who raised nine of us.  There are times that I even trust her more than my kids' pediatrician.  Next in my help list is the ever reliable internet where I look up for a behavior or a phase that my kids are going through that I don't have ready answers at hand.  That's what I did recently for my toddler.  He's just not the most cooperative during meal time.  He skips a meal or doesn't eat anything at all! And I don't remember running around with my two older kids when they were ZJ's age just to make them eat.  With this one, sometimes he even has this attitude where asks me to cook for his favorite viand like egg or hotdog and when it's there he won't eat it at all.  Frustrating huh?!  Glorious are the days when he himself asks for food when he's hungry and really eats like he hasn't eaten for two days. This behavior really got me confused and worried so I consulted Mr. Google and typed in "my two year old won't eat".   I heaved a sigh of relief when I found this:

"Many toddlers are picky eaters. Being picky about food is a normal behavior for many toddlers. There may be times when your child wants to eat a particular food again and again for a while, and then not want to eat it at all."

I also found some forums where mothers discussed the same dilemma they have with their toddlers and so the more I became comfortable with the thought that my child's normal after all.  Just to set my worries and doubts aside, we did went to his pediatrician (ok, I might have exaggerated a bit on the not-trusting-the-pedia thing) and she gave me the same assurance that toddlers his age normally go through this kind of behavior.  To help boost ZJ's appetite, she also recommended Appebon 500 syrup.  It has a bit of an awful taste though so I have to mix it with his milk or juice.  We have only tried it for a few days yet so I can't say something solid as of this time but I'm quite positive that it's doing him pretty good.

I also found helpful tips to improve my son's eating habits which I thought is worth sharing.  This doesn't only imply for toddlers but for older kids too.

• Offer your child food that is tasty and looks good, and offer the right amount. A good rule of thumb is to offer 1 tablespoon of each kind of food for each year of your child's age. If your child is still hungry, you can serve more. Don't force your child to clean his or her plate.
• Try not to bribe your child to eat (such as offering dessert as a reward). Threats or punishments aren't good ideas, either. If your child doesn't want to eat, accept his or her refusal. Even though you may be concerned, don't show your child that you are upset by this refusal to eat. 
• Give your child a heads up. Ten to 15 minutes before mealtime, tell your child that it will be time to eat soon. Children may be so tired or excited from play activities that they don't feel like eating. Letting your child know that it is almost time for a meal will give him or her a chance to settle down before eating.
• Establish a routine. Children are more comfortable with routines and predictability, so set regular mealtimes, have people use the same seats at the table or create a tradition to have each person talk about something fun or interesting that happened to them during the day.
• Reserve mealtimes for eating and for spending quality time with your family. Don't let your child play with toys during mealtimes. Reading books or watching television shouldn't be allowed during mealtimes either. Explain to your child how good it is to eat together and ask him or her to stay at the table until everyone has eaten.
• Make mealtimes pleasant. If mealtimes are pleasant, there is a good chance that your child will begin to look forward to eating with other family members. Try to avoid arguments during mealtime.
• Manage your expectations. Don't expect manners that are too difficult for your child. For example, don't expect a child who is 3 years old to eat with the proper utensil. For many children, a spoon is much easier to handle than a fork.
• Setting a good example for your child can help. If your child sees you eating a variety of healthy foods, he or she will be more likely to give them a try.

Stage mom as I am

Up to this very day, i feel so low with the result of the Pacquiao-Bradley fight.  I thought to myself that day that I'll have something nice to post in my blog because I was so much anticipating that our PACMAN would win.  But to my dismay, he didn't.  It was the same feeling I had when Jessica Sanchez was placed second on American Idol.  I know these people deserved the title to win because it's what's due for them. Because they're good at what they do, if not the best!  And for the case of our champ, Manny Pacquiao, clearly he was robbed.  It was supposed to be a sure win for him according to statistics but everything went crazy and he lost.  But a rematch would be highly exciting.  It was just funny when Mommy Dionisia, after so many times of persuading his son to retire from boxing, had then said that she's already allowing him to do a rematch.  Clearly, it's because she wants to see her son win. I guess it's always a parent's pride to see their children win in any field they choose.  In my case, as a parent of kids who are in a very competitive sport, I had my own share of applauding them on their winning moments and consoling them when they cry over their losses.   Children as they are they they tend to play around during practice.  That's why I push them more to train. I just wish that I have someone like Coach Roach as their trainer.  Don't get me wrong.  I don't see myself as a strict stage mom who only wants winners as my children.  Really, Troy and Tracy doesn't have like a real coach who trains besides them all the time.  Yes, they have some Seniors in the studio who corrects or teaches them from time to time.  But if they have someone who tells them what to do, someone who has a clear understanding of their body language, not someone like me who only encourages them or gives them one or two advice on some moves, then I'm sure they'd be able to execute more and better of their dance routines.  Then they'd have more chances to land first place.  Yes, I want them to win because that is also their goal.  It is their passion, it's their dream and I'm only a mere tool to help them achieve that dream.

Nappy-Nappy time baby!

I just got off from putting my baby Zef to sleep.  By the time I was done "dancing" with Zef, my 2 yr. ZJ old has dozed off as well ,on his own, with his favorite Nemo pillow half covering his face.  Just how important is a nap for children?  Essentially, sleep is a major requirement for good health.  Especially for children who are physically and mentally developing in their growing years.  For a parent, kids' nap time is a brief oasis during the day and time to finish household chores.  Even as a baby, ZJ has always been the long sleeper. Like he really sleeps almost 13 hours at night but only naps shortly during daytime.  I have to confess though that I'm a strong influence because I usually sleep so late at night.  His tendency is, when he still sees people moving around the house then he does his thing as well.  But when it's all quiet, he has no choice but to lay in bed and sleep. That got me guilty and so I slowly changed his sleeping time at night.  Since it won't be til next week that Troy and Tracy will go back to school, I still implemented a house policy that TV be turned off til 11pm the most and lights off in the room by that time.  As an end result, ZJ wakes up early like 8 or 9am the next day. Then nappy time at 2 or 3pm.  There! I've succeeded. As for my 11 months Zef, at times I still have to cradle him to put him to sleep but nothing I can handle.  It's always just a simple joy to put a baby in your arm and feel the closeness the warmth and beating of two hearts of a mother and child. 

Coloring Benefits for my toddler

I’m a work-at-home mom and I have a 2 ½ yrs old boy who constantly “borrows” my laptop to play Plants vs. Zombies or watch his favourites on Youtube. This one time, I had deadlines to meet so I needed to find a way to entertain my ZJ. So I got his crayons but lo! no blank paper for him to draw on. I got creative and tore the March page of my big calendar and let him use the back part for him to scribble and write his little doodles on. I have even drawn some figures and animals for him to color. I have four kids but it’s just recently that I’ve learned of the great benefits of coloring for children. When I’m away with the kids, especially in situations where they become bored like in restaurants, I keep them busy with a pack of crayons and a coloring book. I know some parents who do this also. But it’s when you say “That’s a nice drawing!” or even a “good job” and a little star on top would help increase your child’s confidence and self -esteem. 


Coloring sheets provide an activity for little fingers that helps increase fine motor skills and dexterity. It helps children strengthen those muscles in the hand and wrist that are so important for writing and cutting. One way can be done by offering coloring pages like mazes and connect the dots. These types of coloring activities require the child uses very careful control of their hand to stay in the maze lines and to connect the dots. Mazes and connect the dot pictures are colored in once the activity is finished. For the energetic children, they will sit for extended periods of time when they are coloring a motivating picture. Parents can print out pictures from free coloring page sites on the internet or buy your child a themed coloring book of their favorite television character. If markers motivate your child, get them some special markers that color change or come in fun shapes or smells. Many coloring sheets and coloring books offer children the opportunity to learn valuable academic skills. Children will begin coloring by just randomly choosing a color, but will eventually color items the color they are supposed to be and learn colors in the process. They will learn vocabulary skills as they describe the pictures they color.

Dealing with Zef's Separation Anxiety

My Zef just turned 9 months today and I think I have a genius-in-training since he already can say "ma-me" and "da-de" as well as echoing words and sounds. Basically, he has began to master memory since he already knows how to make connections with people around him. As a parent, it makes you beam with joy and pride upon seeing that your child knows you by heart. But it's when me or da-de leaves the house or even just the sound of the keys jiggling then his separation anxiety sets in. 
What I usually do when I'm about to leave the house is that I give my baby an advance warning by saying goodbye or by telling him that I'd be back soon. A quick hug and a kiss would give him a little reassurance than just by sneaking out the door. This would scare him the more and could make him more miserable while you're away. 
I'm just blessed and thankful that my baby Zef has a competent and loving yaya. She's very familiar with handling kids since she has taken care of younger siblings herself. It is very important to have someone who knows how to ease your baby's separations slowly after the parent leaves. If a babysitter cannot do this, leave the baby to someone more familiar to him. A very good example for us Filipinos are our parent or parents-in-law. In my case, I ask my sisters especially to those ones who doesn't have kids yet but have been dying to have one. So, they're more than willing to "adopt" my little ones even for just a few hours. Thank God for my family! ;-)